The Absolute Moron's Guide to Creative Communication

We had a moment in rehearsal this morning where I got to talk about the fact that I have no idea what theatre people are talking about most of the time. And then I found out that theatre people sometimes feel that way too. (Although sometimes they continue to do weird spinny jumpy warm-ups to "get into their bodies" out of sheer faith in one day getting it.)

As someone who's had the great misfortune pleasure of trying to converse on an understandable level with musicians, actors, and (as of today) dancers, I present to you some of the perhaps less-than-clear things I've written, said, & heard while working on this show.  Listed anonymously, because "It's like Vegas in here."



 "Let's hear that again, but more diamonds, less stainless steel."

"Actually drop a piano here."

"Use that period to its full fucking advantage. The period is condemning."

"Do this part like playing pirates."

"OCD Polar Bear."

"That was really awesome creepy."  "The right kind of awesome creepy?"

"Chinese Opera." 

"Let’s go nuts instead of poetry reading."

"Organic Chinese Opera."

"When you do it that way, it's art; when you look at us, it's an American Apparel campaign."

"This isn’t a real thing, but I just made it up in my head. You know how llamas . . ."

"A sound like popcorn, including the ding."

"The third part is the advice llama."

"A gollum-esque conversation.  But not creepy."

"Because I hired Wile E. Coyote to tell them I'm dating someone."

 The True Story, or Vicious & Multiple & Untrue After All will premiere as part of First Person Arts RAW at the First Person Arts Festival (November 8-17, 2012).